Saturday, October 19, 2013

Reaching the peak..

Hello!!!!  Once again I have been MIA, as I mentioned in a previous email I have a full plate.  As, a matter of fact my plate is so full, that I am surprised I am still functioning.  Actually, just as in previous years by the time I get to Thursday I am pretty much out of gas.   I don't know what it is with Thursday's, it's like my body says.. hello it's Thursday time for vacation.  Unfortunately, I don't have time for vactation.       This semester, has been very challenging for me.  I am enrolled in a Neurobiology class, and a Neurobiology Lab (which I don't have much time for),  my diet has gone down the drain, mostly because I am working all the time.  I get up early, travel around the city to do therapy, go to class, travel around  some more to do therapy again, get home late, shove down dinner,  work on stuff for work, get to bed at midnight or later,  and then repeat.     In addition to work, and school  I decided to help with an retreat at my church.   This was a difficult decision for me, as the last time I helped with a retreat I got sick, and got so angry at my body for letting me down.  I was also was mad at not having a thyroid, and not being able to function the way others do. It's like reality hits you in the face, and your mind starts to take over with negative thoughts.     
 Come to think of it, it's kind of weird because when I got called I say yes right away. However, prior to the phone call, I had already been thinking about my decision.  Something was telling me,  I needed to have a decision so my saying yes immediatly, was because I had already been thinking about it for several weeks, actually I think months before.     As, the time gets closer to the retreat, I find myself going in to freak out mode.   Of course, it doesn't help that my appointment with my endocrinologist is on Monday.   I am worried about how my blood work will come out, especially since I have no time to exercise and I have been eating nothing but junk!!!!    People keep saying I look good, but honestly  I feel like a Zombie and am pretty sure I look like one.    I am very close to hitting my maximum peak, however I have decided that I am not going to give in.     I am going to do my absolute best to push beyond my peak and create a new peak.    What do I plan to do if reach this  new peak???    I am going to take a step back, and say hey I did it, and if I don't reach the peak I am still going to take a step back and say hey look what I attempted. 
I do have to admit, that this home health therapy job is bring back some very vivid memories of why I left home health a couple years ago.      No thyroid + driving around all day =     energy drain
I also have to admit that I am very disappointed that  I did not get to complete my exercise, and nutrition goals I had set forth for myself.      I guess in the end I have to be proud of the things I do accomplish, and rethink strategies to get my health back in order.  Also, as a side note:    fingers crossed that my doctors appointment goes okay, and that I am able to find a job that better suits energy level and getting my health goals back.  

As I typed this up, I started to reflect on a mission I had accomoplished.       Earlier in the semester, before my job got super crazy,  I decided to go on a run. The challenge was to go up an area called towerview.  Well, these were not hills these were mountains (in my mind), especially if you are trying to run up them.  I ended up not being able to run up them, it was a very slow walk/climb.  As a matter of fact, one of the running coaches ended up waling/climbing with me.      I am beginning to think that this was a foretelling of my semester,  nothing but one large hill after another. However,   at the top the result was a beautiful view.    It was also a lesson,  when I reached the top I discovered that if I can do this without a thyroid, I can do anything I set my mind too.    So,  I hope everyone out there reaches for their peak, or beyond whatever that may be.   




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