Monday, November 1, 2010

What is normal anyway??

After my surgery I began to really question what being "normal" would feel like. The doctor had given me an increased dosage of synthroid but I still did not feel myself. I couldn't explain to people what I felt like and when I would say "I feel tired and like a TV that is getting good reception." People would respond Oh yeah I am tired to... Ugh!!!! I felt like saying, I know your tired but imagine running a car without the right battery, or feeling like everything is moving around you and you can't keep up.
Most of the time I let people believe that their tiredness was the same as mine, but reality was it wasn't. I was so frustrated because being at work was a struggle, getting up to go run in the morning wasn't even possible, I had difficulty concentrating at work, and often times I was just happy to make it through the day. I often reflected on what it felt like to feel "normal" or how I felt prior to having my thyroid out and slowly began to miss the butterfly in my neck that had overgrown. I felt a little empty without it. I began to wonder will I ever be "normal"???? I don't know how many times I would say that to my parents I just want to be "normal" of course they would respond with you are "normal" but I just couldn't figure out how I could be normal if I was missing a part. Well, I still don't know what "normal" is but really does anybody???

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