Sunday, October 14, 2012
Tears of tiredness, frustration.. ?
Ugh.. these past couple weeks have just been so tiring for me. Work has been extremly hectic, and I just feel like I haven't had a chance to breathe. I even had a day last week, where I was just so tired, that I wanted to cry. Actually, I did get emotional and just go to bed. I hadn't had a day like that in a while. I have been working 2 jobs(neither one full-time) , one of which was supposed to be not full-time but because of the shortage of therapist I have been working it full time. The other job I was actually enjoying, but it was just to much between the two jobs, oh and taking a class at a local University. Geez, just talking about it makes me tired. Well to make a very long story very short, I decided to quit one of the jobs. Unfortunatly, it was my part time job, that I was enjoying. However, the other job although not full-time still provided me with insurance so I decided to keep that one. I am a bit relieved knowing that soon one thing will be off my plate, but I am stressed about how I am going to make ends meet financially.
I also had to go to the endorcrinologist last week, and I have to say I felt like I had really dissapointed myself, and him this time. I had been so busy with work, that I have completely lost my dedication to eating better, and exercising. I felt embarassed telling him this. I was also nervous, because he decided to run a test for diabetes, since not having a thyroid and thyroid medication increases your chances of developing it. Luckily, that came back fine. My TSH was in the normal range, but I really feel like I need to call him because while it is normal for most people, it is not where I feel my best at. I think it was 2.5 and I feel best between 1-1.5. My calcium was fine, not sure about my vitamin D, but that darn PTH level was escalated. Actually, the past two times I have gone it has been escalted, it was going down and I felt happy, now it is going up and I am not happy. I just don't know what to do. I wish there was a way to control it, but I haven't been able to figure that out yet. I think when it was at it's lowest is when my TSH was almost at 0 and when I wasn't under a lot of stress. So because I can't exactly put my finger on it, and neither can the doctors, I am going to take some steps to see what happens. In the past when I would get like this I would buckle down, focus on my eating and get to running, so that will be my solution, my outlet. I am tired of being tired, and I am tired of getting teary when I get tired. It's such a awful feeling, so limiting so time to get mind over matter right?? Well, that's my plan to push myself and get back to the basics again. I keep hoping I can get back to the basics, or my basics but like I said work keeps getting in the way. So enough work, and time to take care of myself.
I have already taken some steps to get myself on track, and I will not have a choice but to get myself on track I registered for several races!!! One is a diabetes run/walk, one is a Turkey Trot, and the other two I am extremly excited about : Color me Rad (I did something similar last year, this should be fun), and Dirty Girl (another mud run like I did last year but this one is for women only)
My next step is to come up with a running, workout schedule and really start focusing on nutrition. It's a little frustrating that I have leet myself get to this point of truly having to start over, but I need to pick up the pieces and get going or else I am going to be worse off.
Adventures in weight loss
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