Sunday, October 14, 2012

Tears of tiredness, frustration.. ?

Ugh.. these past couple weeks have just been so tiring for me.   Work has been extremly hectic, and I just feel like I haven't had a chance to breathe.     I even had a day last week, where I was just so tired, that I wanted to cry.  Actually, I did get emotional and just go to bed.  I hadn't had a day like that in a while.      I have been working 2 jobs(neither one full-time) , one of which was supposed to be not full-time but because of the shortage of therapist I have been working it full time.  The other job I was actually enjoying,  but it was just to much between the two jobs, oh and taking a class at a local University.  Geez, just talking about it makes me  tired.     Well to make a very long story very short, I decided to quit one of the jobs.  Unfortunatly, it was my part time job, that I was enjoying.   However, the other job although not full-time still provided me with insurance so I decided to keep that one.    I am a bit relieved knowing that soon one thing will be off my plate, but I am stressed about how I am going to make ends meet financially.                

I also had to go to the endorcrinologist last week, and I have to say I felt like I had really dissapointed myself, and him this time.   I had been so busy with work, that I have completely lost my dedication to eating better, and exercising.   I felt embarassed telling him this.    I was also nervous, because he decided to run a test for diabetes, since not having a thyroid and thyroid medication increases your chances of developing it.    Luckily, that came back fine.   My TSH was in the normal range, but I really feel  like I need to call him because while it is normal for most people, it is not where I feel my best at.  I think it was 2.5 and I feel best between 1-1.5.       My calcium was fine, not sure about my vitamin D, but that darn PTH level was escalated.  Actually, the past two times I have gone it has been escalted,  it was going down and I felt happy,  now it is going up and I am not happy.    I just don't know what to do.   I wish there was a way to control it, but I haven't been able to figure that out yet.     I think when it was at it's lowest is when my TSH was almost at 0 and when I wasn't under a lot of stress.    So because I can't exactly put my finger on it, and neither can the doctors, I am going to take some steps to see what happens.     In the past when I would get like this I would buckle down, focus on my eating and get to running, so that will be my solution, my outlet.          I am tired  of being tired, and I am tired of getting teary when I get tired.  It's such a awful feeling, so limiting so time to get mind over matter right??        Well, that's my plan  to push myself and get back to the basics again.      I keep hoping I can get back to the basics, or my basics but like I said work keeps getting in the way.  So enough work, and time to take care of myself.            

I have already taken some steps to get myself on track, and I will not have a choice but to get myself on track  I registered for several races!!!       One is a diabetes run/walk,   one is a Turkey Trot, and the other two I am extremly excited about  :  Color me Rad (I did something similar last year, this should be fun), and  Dirty Girl (another mud run like  I did last year but this one is for women only)     

My next step is to come up with a running, workout schedule and really start focusing on nutrition.   It's a little frustrating that I have leet myself get to this point of truly having to start over, but I need to pick up the pieces and get going or else I am going to be worse off.       


  1. You can do it Janelle! I really like how you are action oriented! It can be so frustrating to get these kinds of results about your levels! Do you normally take vitamin D?

  2. Thanks for the encouragement. Yes, I take 2,00 IU daily. It has seemed to help, I just wish it would hurry up and make me 100% better.

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